McLaren Buys Buick Because Their Cars Are Too Exciting

Another stunning merger just announced today was the purchase of Buick by super car maker McLaren. McLaren’s rich history, brash design language, and overall massive growth in the past few years had led them to this decision. But not for the reason you might think.

McLaren is bored. Their cars are too good. In an effort to get more down with the common man and make their cars less exciting, they’ve purchased a very common man’s luxury sub brand. McLaren + Buick = Bliss.

When totally speaking to McLaren boss Ron Dennis, and not in any way making it up, we asked him a few questions that he gave some routing answers to:

SL: Why is purchasing Buick the next step for McLaren?

RD: Because McLaren needs to stop being so awesome. We’re clearly the best super car maker out there. Why not try to be the best regular car maker for all the plebes, am I right?

SL: Do you foresee Buick keeping its name and branding as a flagship or will you rename it in your own image?

RD: We’re going to fully change the name and branding. Holy hell have you seen their commercials with that New Girl actor? Max Somethingorother? Wow. Just wow. It’s bad. No idea how they sold any cars with that guy as the face of the brand. We’re also thinking of some bitchin’ names for it. How does “Genesis” grab you? Already done you say? Shit. Maybe “Dopeomatic.” I dunno. It’s gotta sound approachable.

SL: What are you plans for Buick internally?

RD: We need to dull down McLaren a bit. It’s getting to be too much to be so awesome all the time. Need to give the others a fighting chance. Hey have you seen how our logo is in this car’s headlight 7,823 times? Come look at this.

SL: Are you excited to drive any of your newly acquired models?

RD: No.

SL: Why Not?

RD: …………

It was at that point that Ron ran off to cocoon himself in a F1 GTR where he played drums on the steering wheel to what I can only assume was Rush’s seminal hit “Tom Sawyer.”

This seems like a win win for both companies. McLaren gets a brand that’s booming in China and Buick gets an owner that might actually care about it enough to mercy kill it. Can’t wait to see what’s next from this strange pairing. Hey they odd couple ran for a while on TV right?

(Source: The Bowling Green Massacre Tipster)